![]() (Phoenix, Arizona) – Who would have thought The Great Alaskan Bush Co. It’s like that five-day post shave kinda feeling. My assumption here would be a mediocre, “f*ck it” kind of experience. In the words of Halsey, “I’m terrified, but I can’t resist”. If I saw this on a sign the confusion on my face would speak loud enough. Fuzzy Holes (Johnson City, Tennessee) – LMAO.I’m not sure what these working boys do, but I can only assume it’s… well… savage. As you probably guessed, this strip club is intended for the ladies (or gays – we ain’t discriminatin’ herr!). Savage Men (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) – Aren’t these the type of things we tell young women to stay away from? Savage Men.A quick search of the club says there is a one-armed woman who works there and they call her Flipper. Urban Dictionary seemed like a more reliable source at this point and come to find out scuttlebutt is slang for gossip/rumor/word on the street. I actually went ahead and Googled what a scuttle is and here’s the first definition: a metal container with a slopping hinged lid and a handle, used to fetch and store coal for a domestic fire. Scuttlebutt (Slidell, Louisiana) – Wow.Note that the honorable mention list adds another five, because I could have spent the majority of my morning searching for funny strip club names. Bubblegum Giraffe? Cinnamon Penguin? Wintergreen Two-Toed Sloth?!?! Oh yeah! Anyways, the list of ten is below. There should be an Instagram game titled, “Your Favorite Strip Club” where you’re just told to pick your favorite flavor of gum and favorite zoo animal. Seriously, Spearmint Rhino is a chain and the Peppermint Hippo exists. ![]() I decided to leave out the chains – Deja Vu, Crazy Horse, Hunk-O-Mania, and, believe it or not, Spearmint Rhino. So I did my research and came up with my ten favorite strip club names I’ve discovered through a nationwide Google Map search. However, I couldn’t verify if a lot of the clubs existed. ![]() ![]() If I were the first man to write up some bullshit on the funniest strip club names in America I have no doubt I’d have a show on Late Night Travel Channel where I visit various gentlemen’s clubs across the United States to tell folks about the quality of strippers and all the quirky esoteric characteristics of each (Shout-Out to BYOB at the Lumberyard in Cedar Rapids!).Īs it turns out, the list has been done. The one thing that may have done for me what Playboy did for Roald Dahl before he starting writing children’s fantasy books ( seriously, the same guy who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and James and the Giant Peach wrote numerous adult articles in Playboy – eventually leading to his first adult book). I started wondering if anyone had ever written a comedic blog or list about the outlandish names of gentlemen’s clubs and as it turns out, many people have. Okay, the only reason I know is because I lived in Milwaukee for a summer and I thought it was the funniest thing on earth that people went up north to a strip club called the Peppermint Hippo (one of Wisconsin’s best!). When in Omaha!”Īt this point I’m laughing my ass off thinking, “What the hell kind of a name is Spearmint Rhino?” Then all of a sudden it hits me: there’s a strip club in Wisconsin called the Peppermint Hippo. He laughs and responds, “Nah, already hit up the Spearmint Rhino. Without thinking, which is common for me, I say, “Ah, hitting the old strip joint later I see”. To my surprise as I walk into the cockpit, I see the captain counting singles. This is an unwritten rule in the airline industry if you are working as the lead flight attendant – you always offer to the folks up front. A couple minutes later I walk up front to see if he needs anything (e.g. The captain walks on the flight, introduces himself, and then walks up into the cockpit as they usually do. As everyone boarded in their red Cornhusker gear it was nice to be able to say, “tough loss to my Hawkeyes last week!” even though I didn’t watch a minute of the game. I recently took a flight to Omaha, Nebraska. I promise this story was important for understanding where this post was about to go. It was not one of my proudest moments and I can attest to that by pointing a finger to the 50 days of sobriety I celebrated after my time in New Orleans came to an end. I put each one on doing my best impression of the Michelin Man until the time came to part ways with all but one shirt (Kaitlin Stotz, you may thank me now and also peep the image at the bottom of this post). If I’m being honest, four T-Shirts were thrown my way. Used seldom as an undershirt, this T-Shirt was given to me in New Orleans for “flashing” a rooftop crowd of strip club employees during Mardi Gras.
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